How could she have left him?
by boaterV
Summary: Just a follow up to ep Lazarus. Oliver's pain at Chloe's actions.


**Spoilers for Lazarus.**

He knew the moment they touched it was her. If anyone had asked he wouldn't have to able to give a definitive answer. But he knew.

In that moment of realization he fought. Hard, against the man who walked him away from the captors who had done nothing but torture him. He would gladly go back. Anything if it meant this wasn't happening. Anything to save her.

Pulling and twisting he tried to get to her. He couldn't let her do this. He knew what awaited her. Knew what she would have to endure and he couldn't stand it. Wouldn't let anything to happen to her. Please god not her.

His last thought before the blackness was a prayer. He would give his very soul for her. Then the butt of a gun connected with the back of his head and he saw only darkness.

When he came too it was with a start. Lying in a dark alley partially concealed by a dumpster he ached from head to toe. Pushing everything to the back of his mind he got up and raced to watchtower. Chloe had to have a plan. She couldn't have just let them take her. A tracking device. A code. Something, anything that would help him to find her. There had to be something.

Cursing his achingly slow body he rushed inside watchtower. He desperately searched. She was too smart. Too clever not to have had a plan. There is no way she would have just traded herself for him. He turned over file after file, the minutes ticking by. A constant reminder that he wasn't fast enough. That right now while he looked for anything to help her that son of a bitch was working her over.

Rage surged through him as his impotence. He picked up the nearest thing and flung it across the room. As he watched Chloe's beloved coffee pot smash against the floor he screamed. Realization coming slowly.

There was no plan. No note left for him to find to save her. She had traded her life for his.

His body collapsed under the weight of the failure. He slid to the floor in a crumpled heap and sobbed. Oliver Queen, billionaire head of a multinational corporation, Green Arrow, head of the justice league was sobbing, his whole body shaking as grief overtook him.

He wasn't sure if he had stayed like that for an hour or a day. When he was finally able to get up he made his way to her room. A tiny part of him held out hope that he was wrong. That if he just looked harder he would find what he needed to save her.

Sitting on her bed was an envelope with his name on it and the tiny flicker of hope surged until it nearly blinded him. Tearing open the envelope he immediately recognized her neat even handwriting.

_Ollie,_

_I'm so sorry._

The hope dimmed with the first line. Where were the schematics? The codes? The plan to save her?

_I wish I could be there to tell you this in person but fate is cruel. _

_I'm not sure when you became my world but somewhere between games and missions I fell in love with you. It isn't something I wanted or was looking for but looking back I'm not sure how I thought it would go any other way. _

_I'm sorry to be telling you this now. It feels selfish but I just needed you to know you were my knight in shining armor. You have an amazing heart and I hope you can forgive me._

_No doubt you thought I would leave clues. I wish that I could._

_You know it's not a fair trade. But somehow they agreed. The world needs you, the league needs you, and I need you to be okay. I couldn't live another minute knowing there was something I could do to save you._

_I know you will search but you won't will find me. Please don't waste your life. _

_Forgive yourself and be happy._

_With all my heart,_

_C_

The last words stamped out any hope that he could get her back quickly. That he would be able to get to her before they got a chance to really hurt her.

"What have you done?" He screamed the words at an empty room. How could she dessert him? How could she leave him all alone? He wouldn't accept this. He wouldn't give up.

How could he? She wouldn't. She would have tracked him till the ends of the earth. Be happy? How could he do that when she was the only ray of light in his life?

"Dam you Chloe Sullivan!" He growled the words but didn't mean them.

He wouldn't give up. He would find her. If only to prove her wrong one more time.

**_Reviews please._**

**_I know this is dark with none of my usual romance. I'm just so darn angry at the show. How dare you give us Chollie and then take it away? NOT COOL!_**


End file.
